Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
