Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Say something about gay babies.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
