Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
