Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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