Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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