If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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