She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
