her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the day after is always just damage control
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
