I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
