I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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