I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
