Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
