well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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