If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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