she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
