i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
