I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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