Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
