Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
