We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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