i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
