thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
