Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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