im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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