I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
