Do you still have your period?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
