This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
