Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
