Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
