Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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