I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Drake has all the answers
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
