Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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