Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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