we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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