I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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