I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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