He kissed a someone with a penis
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
