So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
