I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
