My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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