Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
