Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
