i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
