me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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