are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you win again, gameday.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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