These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
