Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize