Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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