Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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