Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my being single is dangerous.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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