Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
