idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
