I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
