How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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