Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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