Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
