My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
