just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
